Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month

It is the sense of teenNow California that the state of California should intensify its efforts to reduce the high rates of teen pregnancies and births by declaring May 6, 2015 the National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. WE are committed to raising awareness about the importance of this critical issue, promoting parent-child communication, and investing in programs that have been proven to reduce teen pregnancy.

Quick Facts:

• Teen pregnancy is closely linked to a number of critical social issues such as poverty, educational attainment, involvement in the criminal justice and child welfare systems, and more;

• Teen childbearing costs U.S. taxpayers about $9 billion each year;

• A child is 9 times more likely to grow up in poverty if he or she is born to unmarried teen parents who have not yet completed high school;

• Less than half of mothers who have a child before they turn 18 ever graduate from high school, and less than 2 percent of mothers who have children before 18 have a college degree by age 30;

• Children of teen mothers are more likely to be born prematurely and at low birthweight;

• Children of teen parents are 2 times more likely to suffer abuse and neglect than would occur if their mothers had delayed childbearing;

• 8 in 10 adults view teen pregnancy as an important problem and 7 in 10 believe more efforts to prevent teen pregnancy are needed in their community;

• 7 in 10 adults and a plurality of teens wish that teens were getting more information about both abstinence and contraception, rather than either/or;

• 7 in 10 adults agree that there should be more community efforts to reduce teen pregnancy

Spring Into Love Teen Fest

If you are in the Los Angeles Area, please share with your young people!!TO USE SPRING INTO LOVE TEEN FEST

teenNow California Scholarship applications are available!

Please download the application information for your students.  All applications must be sponsored by a current teenNow member and will need to be submitted by April 1st!   Further information and qualifications are on the application.

We look forward to reading all the amazing applications!

2015 TeenNow scholarship application1

Upcoming Child Nutrition Webinar

LIVE Webinar

Now Childhood Nutrition Programs Get a Leg Up – Funding Abounds!

Thursday, April 16, 2015; By: Frank Klimko

REGISTER NOW

Connect With the Federal/Private Funding Streams That Support Childhood Nutrition Initiatives

The severity of the childhood nutrition epidemic was initially brought to light by First Lady Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move! initiative, but numerous private and federal funders have joined the effort to end the problem within a generation. Nearly all federal agencies have joined the cause, and many private entities are readjusting or enhancing their priorities to focus more on childhood nutrition and obesity prevention. Funds are available for healthy foods, nutrition education, physical education, sports programs and after-school and extra-curricular activities.

This audio conference with funding expert Frank Klimko will help nonprofits position themselves for successful fundraising for childhood nutrition programs. It will provide you with the knowledge to search for funding at the right place; the research and boards that are setting the funding agenda; easy to adapt best practices; and what types of partnerships are required. Frank will shed light on the new federal budget and how it set aside significant money for this national effort.

Because grant writing is a tough job, a portion of the webinar will be reserved for a special “Shake the Money Tree” section. Frank will show how to prepare, format and burnish a grants applications to get the funding that you need to make your programs grow. You will be given with the tools to help them be successful, stand out from the crowd, and connect with the federal/private funding streams.

Learning Objectives

Here’s Just Some of What You’ll Learn

• The Latest Goals and Achievements
• The Latest Developments at the Federal and at the State Level
• Why the Child Nutrition Movement Continues to Grow
• Impact of the Child Nutrition Movement and Let’s Move! on Federal, Private Funding
• Research & reports that offer guiding principles
• Existing Funding Opportunities Providing High Dollar Awards

This webinar will help you understand

• New Funding Opportunities that are anticipated
• Outside-the-Box Opportunities
• Insights on Federal and Foundation Funding Programs that can be replicated
• Ways to Follow the Funding Trails
• Other Coinciding Funding Trends that should be followed
• Insights into networking – Who to Talk to and Meet with
• Tips on Forming Crucial Partnerships
• Proven ways for involvement at foundation and federal levels

Click Here to Register

Use Discount Code ” NA20” to get $20 off only for early bird registration

REGISTRATION DETAILS:
You can register for LIVE webinar, complete with all handouts. Email in your questions in advance to ensure your questions are addressed, or email us anytime during or after the presentation. But don’t wait; spaces are limited to ensure we can address all questions thoroughly. And remember, just one good tip, one proven technique, can make all the difference in your grant seeking

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month

From the best of the best – Break the Cycle   teenDVmonth

For many, February is the month of love, where Valentine’s Day is the ultimate celebration of relationships. But February is also about the other side of the coin — what about relationships that are unhealthy or abusive?

Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month or teenDVmonth is a national effort to raise awareness about dating abuse statistics, prevention and programs.

“In a 12-month period, one in 10 high school students nationwide reported they were physically hurt on purpose by their boyfriend or girlfriend,” said President Barack Obama in a presidential proclamation about teenDVmonth. “And still more experienced verbal or emotional abuse like shaming, bullying or threats.”

Throughout February, nonprofits, organizations and individuals nationwide come together to highlight the importance of educating young people about relationships. And that includes you!

You can be a part of teenDVmonth:

• Join thousands of conversations on It’s Time To Talk Day, which brings together parents, students, teachers, educators, survivors, advocates, celebrities and beyond to start talking about healthy relationships, dating abuse and domestic violence
• Participate in an It’s Time To Talk Day Talk-A-Thon
• Host your own Talk-A-Thon event
• Read the National Respect Announcement on Valentine’s Day at your school, which has reached over one million students and counting
• Write letters to your school, community leaders, government officials and faith leaders about how they can change and implement dating abuse prevention policies
• Wear orange to raise awareness of teenDVmonth

Find out what events you can join during teenDVmonth! With your help, we can work together to help young people build healthy relationships.

teenDVmonth | Break the Cycle

teenDVmonth | Break the Cycle.

New Year…New Look

The staff and Board of Directors at teenNow California are excited. Our website and blog are undergoing a fun renovation. The website will be easier to navigate and packed with relevant and updated information, including a new resource and advocacy center. Look for our fresh website in early March. We’ll let you know when it is up and ready for you to peruse. Please share your feedback with us.

STATE BOARD OF EDUCATION ACHIEVES MAJOR MILESTONE FOR TRANSPARENCY AND ACCOUNTABILITY IN SCHOOLS

The California State Board of Education has approved final spending regulations for the Local Control Funding Formula (LCFF) and a revised template for Local Control and Accountability Plans (LCAP), strengthening parent and community involvement in budget decisions and expanding local accountability measures to improve student achievement. The file vote marks a major milestone in the formal rulemaking process required of the State Board of Education and finalizes numerous revisions and improvements suggested by educators, parents, students, lawmakers, education groups and advocacy organizations since the LCFF became law in 2013. Thousands of public comments about the regulations and hours of public testimony before the Board led to the development of these final regulations and revised template.

“These LCFF regulations address a number of issues raised by education stakeholders in California. By listening to stakeholders and learning about LCFF and LCAP implementation in local districts, we were able to make adjustments that clarify the intent of the law and bolster transparency at the local level,” said Mike Kirst, president of the California State Board of Education.

“The board action today is another significant step on this historic path to use our resources more effectively to serve all California students,” said Tom Torlakson, State Superintendent of Public Instruction. “The revised regulations and template retain the flexibility of districts to make spending decisions, while making sure that everyone – parents, teachers, students and community leaders – has a voice in how these important decisions are made.”

LCFF links transparency and accountability directly to the local goal setting and budgeting process by requiring each school district, county office of education and charter school to adopt LCAPs. The Board approved a revised LCAP template that includes requested changes from county offices of education, local districts and education stakeholders.

“The LCFF regulations and LCAP template are major transformations intended to ensure the state’s 6.2 million students receive the education they need and deserve by strengthening capacity and providing support throughout our public school system. The State Board of Education remains committed to listening and learning from the experiences of practitioners and stakeholders at the local level,” concluded Kirst.

Some of the groups and organizations actively involved in the development of the regulations and the revised template offered the following comments about the Board’s actions:

California County Superintendents Educational Services Association Executive Director Peter Birdsall said, “County superintendents have been at the front line of review and approval of school district LCAPs. The Board’s action today reflects the lessons learned from this first year experience—the new regulations and template are clearer, easier to use, and keep the focus on community engagement and services to students.”

The Education-Trust Executive Director Ryan J. Smith said, “The Education Trust–West would like to thank the State Board of Education, and its staff, for listening to the concerns of parents, community-based organizations, students, and other civil rights advocates when developing the final implementing regulations for the Local Control Funding Formula. We appreciated the opportunity to work together to ensure our neediest students will benefit from supplemental funding. We look forward to continuing our cooperative relationship in the coming year.”

Association of California School Administrators Executive Director Wesley Smith said, “The LCFF regulations and template strengthen the tie between goals and actions ensuring stronger student achievement outcomes. The final regulations increase transparency and guarantee a stronger student voice.”

National Center for Youth Law California Director of FosterEd Jackie Thu-Huong Wong said, “The Local Control Funding Formula is a groundbreaking effort to meet the educational needs of all foster youth and should serve as a guidepost for other initiatives such as the Foster Youth Services program. The LCFF permanent regulations will enable foster youth, and their advocates, to articulate their needs up front as schools and districts develop spending plans for funds targeted to closing the foster youth achievement gap. The accompanying accountability plans must ensure local entities use these funds to provide programs and services tailored to foster youth.”

California School Boards Association CEO and Executive Director Vernon M. Billy said, “Approving the Local Control Funding Formula regulations and template now provides the necessary certainty to allow governing boards to continue updating and developing their next Local Control Accountability Plans. As governance teams and stakeholders gain experience with the LCAP process, CSBA looks forward to future refinements in the template, including the online template and greater alignment between other required documents, such as the School Accountability Report Cards and LEA Plans, that will reduce redundancy and improve the accessibility of the information.”

California State PTA President Colleen A.R. You said, “California State PTA appreciates the efforts of the State Board of Education to help achieve greater transparency and accountability in improving services for all students. We thank the State Board of Education members and staff for the ongoing communication and requests for input from parents and the education community on the LCFF and LCAP process, including how it is working and how it can be more effective. There is much work to do across the state to raise awareness about LCFF and increase participation. We are committed to the goal of ongoing, meaningful parent engagement and look forward to continued cooperation with the SBE in these efforts.”

Families In Schools President and CEO Oscar E. Cruz said, “On behalf of the hundreds of parents who shared their recommendations for improving the LCFF regulations and the LCAP template in person and by letter, we extend our appreciation for your hard work and leadership role. You have our relentless support in promoting the life chances of low-income students and students of color.”

ACLU of California Director of Education Advocacy David Sapp said, “The ACLU of California appreciates the significant progress madesince November 2013to strengthen the regulations and LCAPtemplate, although we believe experience from this past year underscores several areas where additional improvements areneeded.We also commend the State Board and staff for their commitment to seek input from stakeholders and foster authentic engagement and transparency throughout this process and believe it should serve as an example for districts oninvolving students, parents, and community groups in the LCAP process each year.”

Public Advocates Managing Attorney John Affeldt said, “The Boardhas crafted an approach here that marries equity for high need studentswith flexibility for districts. We continue to worry equity will take a back seat in implementation but trust all our policymakers in Sacramento will be open to mid-course corrections if that occurs.”

California Association of School Business Officials President Vince Christakos President said, “Our organization greatly appreciates the efforts of the State Board of Education and its staff to ensure that the LCFF regulations and LCAP template were crafted in a way to ensure they will result in the positive student outcomes we all desire. We commend the board and staff for being open and willing to address the concerns of stakeholders, including chief business officials and other CASBO members.”

Children Now President Ted Lempert said, “The adoption of these LCFF regulations is an important win for kids. They maintain the flexibility and control to help school districts meet their students’ unique needs, while providing greater clarity in how resources must support English learners, low-income and foster youth. This positive outcome is a product of great collaboration,which will be essential as we continue to work on LCFF implementation moving forward.”

PICO Californiaparent leader Elizabeth Devora of Oakland concluded, “We appreciate the efforts of the State Board of Education to incorporate the priorities and concerns of parents and students into the drafting of the Local Control Funding Formula regulations and LCAP template, and the thoughtful and respectful way we were welcomed and included in the process. As we continue to work on LCFF, we hope that districts around the state embrace this commitment to partner in the same way to ensure that students with the greatest need who have been denied opportunity have the resources they need to be successful and to graduate high school with real choices about college and work.”

“I Am A Survivor of Suicide” by Kurt Cunningham

I tried to end my life one night after having a wonderful fun-filled evening with friends. It was in November 2012; I had a plan in place for months. Not one person had any idea what I was planning to do.
After a series of life-changing events that began in 2009 and included the closing of my once-successful business of nine years and culminated with the death of my mother in August 2012, life just seemed unbearable to me. My finances were a mess. My health wasn’t great. And I couldn’t make a romantic relationship last more than a few months.
Life just sucked! So I thought about every option I could end my life and finally decided on a plan that I could carry through with that wasn’t violent, or that wouldn’t bring harm to innocent bystanders. I remember coming home and getting everything in place to follow through with my plan. I’m sure you’re wondering what my plan was, but I would never want to put any ideas in someone’s head that was considering harming themselves. Once I was finished, I remember taking out the trash, grabbing my cat, and laying on my couch with the cat on my chest, unable to stop crying until I fell asleep.
Of course with the recent suicide of Robin Williams, countless articles have been written, news stories have flooded television for days, and now the news media are onto the next sensational story. So I wanted to share my experience and acknowledge that I am a survivor of a suicide. That sounds … I don’t know, kind of dramatic to me.
But there is something about creating a plan, going through with it, and the result is not what I had anticipated that IS very dramatic.
WAKING UP, UNEXPECTEDLY
How are you supposed to feel when you wake up from a medically induced coma to see your friends and family at your bedside waiting for you to wake up?
My first thought was not DAMN it didn’t work. I don’t remember what my first thoughts were. I know I was pretty delirious for a while because I thought I was at some lady’s home, and she was taking care of me while she decorated a Christmas tree. That lady was a nurse in my private ICU hospital room, the “tree” she was decorating was my IV drip rack. There were so many bags on that thing they looked like ornaments to me. It was if strands of tinsel were flowing into my arms, I’ve done my fair share of drugs in my life but I’ve never mainlined Christmas. I had contracted pneumonia; there was a fear of liver and kidney failure. To say I was in bad shape would be an understatement.
It was a lengthy hospital stay; I was under 24-hour watch, which meant a nurse sat next to my bed 24 hours a day. After about a week I was transferred to the “West Wing,” and believe me it was nothing as plush as the West Wing of the White House. The West Wing of UCSD Hillcrest is the psychiatric ward of the hospital. It’s like taking a step back in time. I believe it was a portion of the original space of the hospital when it was first built. It was very stark, sterile with plastic furniture and doors that locked us in. It felt like a prison to me; I was on permanent lockdown, and there was nothing I could do about it. You don’t get to sign yourself out of Psychiatric ward like you can in a regular hospital; you are there until some stranger says you are back to “normal” whatever the hell that is.
I was told by staff members that I would have a particularly difficult time there because I was the only “highly functional” patient in the ward.
They weren’t kidding. This was no resort-type facility we often hear about celebrities going to because of “exhaustion,” but this support was an important part of the journey to recovery. I needed to be safe. I sat alone. I tried to read. I would sometimes talk with the nurses when they weren’t busy.
I didn’t belong here! I’m nothing like these people! Didn’t they know who I am? Get my friend who was also my city councilman on the phone. Call my friends who are city commissioners! Placing me here was obviously a mistake. I was coming unglued! The lunatics had taken over the asylum, and I was going down with them.
I begged to be let out; at one point a doctor gave me some false hope that I might be released over the weekend. Unfortunately, it was a Thanksgiving holiday weekend and the ward was being run by the “B list” doctors.Their idea of therapy included coloring in coloring books and making flowers out of colored paper. Finally, the following Monday the A list doctors came back on duty and saw that my mood was deteriorating because of my surroundings. I have a wonderful group of close friends who were visiting the hospital every day, bringing me some of my favorite food, keeping me focused on what my plans were for when I got out of the hospital. The nurses and the doctors were very impressed by the amount of people that would come visit me. I think I broke the record for the amount of visitors in one day. Hell, I even had a drag queen in full gown, and crown visit me on Thanksgiving Day. It was like a dadgum parade in there. But it also showed the doctors I had a great support team waiting for me when I was released. The ongoing visits reminded me that I had a team of support, that I was not alone in the world.
Luckily that support system was willing to do anything they could to help me get reacquainted with life and back on my feet.
THE AFTERMATH
So let me fast forward a bit to my recovery. Follow-up appointments with all the doctors, weekly “talk” therapy and new medications helped me with my recovery. Staying close to home for a bit, getting out of the house was important but being seen wasn’t that important to me. I guess in a way I was embarrassed and ashamed of what I had done. Good thing I didn’t leave a “fu*k you and fu*k you too” letter for anyone to find, because then I would have to face those people again.
Looking back, I realize that shame and embarrassment were embedded in my mind. A learned behavior. YES, trying to end your life is an awful thing. I do not recommend it to anyone. But the stigma that was put on me like a scarlet letter made it very difficult to move forward in certain situations; but that was one of the many obstacles I have overcome. Friendships were the No. 1 thing that had changed in my life.
People’s attitudes about depression and suicide, just mental illness in general, often come with a stigma. Even when people try to have conversations about depression, their competency or understanding about the issue is archaic or maybe they were just repeating things they heard somewhere and took it as fact.
WHAT I LEARNED:
So class is now in session.
Lesson No. 1: Depression is real
Depression, clinical, diagnosed depression is not the same thing as having a bad day because your car got scratched, or you lost your lucky pair of underwear. The word “depressed” is used in a very loose and at times offensive manner. It trivializes what a truly depressed person is dealing with in their life.
It’s hard to blame the people that aren’t familiar with depression or other mental health issues. Our culture has taught us to dismiss these people as being victims and weak. I tend to be a little passive aggressive when I see someone post on social media “I’m so depressed” My response is always the same. “Oh, I’m sorry, how long have you been suffering from depression?” No one has ever answered that question when I ask.
Lesson No. 2 Suicide is a lot of things, but selfish isn’t one of them
Suicide is a decision made out of desperation, hopelessness, isolation and loneliness. The black hole that is clinical depression is all-consuming.
People who say that suicide is selfish always reference the survivors. They say it’s selfish to leave friends and family and loved ones behind.
What they don’t know is that those loved ones are the reason many people hang on for just one more day. They do think about the survivors, probably up until the very last moment in many cases. But the dark cloud of depression that follows you everywhere them leaves you feeling like there is no alternative. As the only way to get out of the crappy situation you think you are in is to end it all. And that is a devastating thought to endure.
Until you’ve stared down that level of depression, until you’ve lost your body, heart, mind and soul to a sea of emptiness and darkness … you don’t get to make those judgments. You might not understand it, and you are certainly entitled to your opinion, but making those judgments and spreading that kind of negativity won’t help the next person. In fact, it will only hurt them and others.
Lesson No. 3: Myth that once a nut case, always a nut case
NOT true. You have to look at depression for exactly what it is, an illness. Let’s compare it to diabetes. There is no cure for diabetes, but it is a manageable illness. There are many ways people with mental illness can live regular lives just like everyone else. Of course, there are different levels of the illness and it might take a lot of work for one person versus very little for another.
For me, the best plan has been medication and talk therapy. Medication isn’t a magic pill that works the first time you take it. You may have to try different pills or different combinations, and it takes a short time for those meds to kick in. You would be surprised at how many people you know or are familiar with that live with mental illness. Remember approximately 1 in 4 people suffers from a diagnosable mental disorder; take a look around, it could it be you, your best friend, your partner, your parent. Don’t be so quick to judge, but do ask questions. Approach them in a caring, concerned and loving manner.
Lesson No. 4: No blame, no shame, just be kind
The worst things to say to someone with a mental illness:
Snap out of it.
There are a lot of people worse off than you.
You have so many things to be thankful for, how can you be depressed?
You’d feel better if you got off all those pills.
What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.
Go out and have some fun.
I know how you feel.
So you’re depressed, aren’t you always?
This too shall pass.
You make the choice to have a bad day, just decide to have a good day.
So change the words up a little bit, you would never say things like:
Hey, diabetic, snap out of it.
Hey, epileptic, I know how you feel.
Hey, paraplegic, so you can’t use your legs, isn’t that always the case?
You get the idea. No one would think those things are OK to say, and just because you can’t SEE my illness doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
By saying these things, the mentally ill person in front of you is already probably feeling very bad about themselves, and you have chosen to go and make it worse.
Instead of those ugly things listed above, try saying things like this instead:
I love you.
What can I do to help?
This must be very hard for you.
I am there for you, and I will always be there for you.
You are amazing and strong, and you can get through this.
Have you seen your doctor/therapist?
You never have to apologize for feeling this way.
I’m not scared of you.
HOW IT HAS CHANGED MY LIFE
It has taken me a lot of work to get to where I am now. I have also discovered a new found passion for working in the mental health field. On July 24th of this year I completed a course, and I am now certified in Mental Health First Aid. No, I am not a doctor, but I now have the tools and resources to help someone through a crisis to the next step and help stabilize a dangerous situation. I am learning more about the field through volunteering, organizing suicide prevention classes, and attending any and every class or lecture I possibly can.
I recently applied for a job in the mental health field; I’m still waiting to hear back from the organization. If I don’t get hired for this job, I won’t let it get me down. I’ll keep pushing on. There are too many people out there that are in life challenging situations that are being ignored by society. I can no longer stand by and let them suffer.
To go from a place of wanting to end my life to now being considered for a job helping others is a testament to every single person suffering from mental illness. Suicide is not the answer. There is hope! You can overcome your situation; you are important and what you have to offer can help someone at a time when they really need someone who understands.
Love yourself enough to ignore what others may think of you seeking out professional help, You would be amazed at how much just talking to someone about your problems can help. Don’t keep your emotions bottled up inside until the bottles bursts. As the late, great Whitney Houston said in the movie “Sparkle.” “Was my life not enough of a cautionary tale for you?”
FINDING HELP
If you think you need help, please contact a medical or mental health professional. There are crisis lines in place to help you when professional help is not readily available to you.
Access and Crisis Line
(800) 479-3339 or (888) 724-7240
Trevor Project Lifeline
866-488-7386
Trevor Text: Text the word “Trevor” to 202-304-1200.
The Trevor Project provides a 24-hour hotline that provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning young people (LGBTQ) ages 13-24.
National Suicide Prevention Hotline
(800) 237-TALK
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Parents….It’s time YOU had THE Talk!

Jennifer Barber, MPH, President, teenNow California

In my career I have worked with thousands of families, parents and their children from the age of nine and up. I’ve also been in the teen pregnancy prevention field for over 15 years. It has been my observation that the parents are typically the ones who need “THE talk”. What I mean is, they may need convincing as to why it’s important and necessary to begin talking early and often with their children about sexuality and growing up. It’s not “fun” to think of your precious angel as a sexual being. The idea in fact may make you want to throw up a bit your mouth. How do we get past these uncomfortable feelings and thoughts? How do we talk about sex and growing up without your own face turning red and escaping your child’s rolling eyes?

The truth is….by practicing. It’s the only way. Parents and care givers are important people in a child’s life and it’s good to look for and create teachable moments. Start with asking more questions and listening more than you talk. The next time you are watching television with your child and see something “sexy” let’s say, ask your child what they think about that scene or commercial. It’s also good to reflect on how you have reacted in the past when your child asked you an uncomfortable question. Did you lie, minimize, or avoid the conversation all together? Did you purposely miss an opportunity to discuss something important? Be honest and ask yourself how you would like to be in these situations moving forward.

When I was about 5 years old or so I asked my oldest sister where babies came from. She was unsure what to tell me or what mom would want me to know at five years old, so she told me that was something I could learn about when I was a little older. Apparently I wasn’t happy with her answer. Later that day, my sister asked me a question. “Jenny, where is my hair brush?” and my sassy reply went like this, “maybe I’ll tell you when you’re a little older.” Clearly I was ready for some information that an adult wasn’t ready or able to share with me. I think many children feel this way. I think many adults feel like my sister did. When it comes to sexuality adults tend to over complicate things and are unequipped of how to speak simply about sex. What’s great is if you didn’t give enough information to a child you will surely get a follow up question. Then you can give a little more info. I feel it’s important to praise and encourage questions, if you want to keep the door of communication open. The quickest way to shut it is by over reacting or accusing when a question is asked. Instead be quizative and say something like, “that’s a great question sweetie…what do you know about that or think that means?” This helps you gage how much to say as well. For example, “Mom what’s a condom?”, “That’s an interesting question sweetheart, tell me what you know so far” versus “Where did you hear that word, I told you not to play with those boys down the street.” Tone and body language are also very important here. You need your poker face.

At this moment your mind might be going crazy wondering where this question came from, does this mean my child is thinking about sex or worse, having it! Calm down! Breathe, and respond instead of react. This may take a moment, hence the poker face, and when you’re ready praise the question and ask a follow up one with a calm, open tone of voice and posture. Watch your eyes and facial expressions. If the timing is not good to talk, say you’re in a grocery store when this question comes up, it’s always okay to deflect the talk for later and say something like, “That’s a great question, ask me again when we get to the car”. This also buys you a little time to brew up your conversation.

Just remember things will always be as big of a deal as you choose to make them. Act as though the question is like any other question like “what is for dinner” and you will surely keep talkin’ through the years!